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Math

  • 13.01.11, 21:45
How they prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime?Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is aprime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.
Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is aprime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime,...
Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime,9 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Programmer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 isa prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime,...
Salesperson: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime,9 -- we'll do for you the best we can,...
Computer Software Salesperson: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be prime in the next release,...
Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime,9 -- results have not arrived yet,...
Advertiser: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime,11 is a prime,...
Lawyer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime,9 -- there is not enough evidence to prove that it is not a prime,...
Accountant: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime,9 is prime, deducing 10% tax and 5% other obligations.
Statistician: Let's try several randomly chosennumbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime, 11 is a prime...
Professor: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, andthe rest are left as an exercise for the student.
Computational linguist: 3 is an odd prime, 5 is anodd prime, 7 is an odd prime, 9 is a very odd prime,...
Psychologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is aprime, 9 is a prime but tries to suppress it,...

The Dictionary: what mathematics professors say and what they mean by itClearly:I don't want to write down all the "in-between" steps.
Trivial:If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.
It can easily be shown:No more than four hours are needed to prove it.
Check for yourself:This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do iton your own time.
Hint:The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.
Brute force:Four special cases, three counting arguments and two longinductions.
Elegant proof:Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matterand is less than ten lines long.
Similarly:At least one line of the proof of this case is the same asbefore.
Two line proof:I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can'tquestion 'em if you can't see 'em.
Briefly:I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.
Proceed formally:Manipulate symbols by the rules without anyhint of their true meaning.
Proof omitted:Trust me, It's true.

How mathematicians do it...
Combinatorists do it as many ways as theycan.
Combinatorists do it discretely.
(Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].
Logicians do it by symbolic manipulation.
Algebraists do it in groups.
Algebraists do it in a ring.
Algebraists do it in a field.
Analysts do it continuously.
Real analysts do it almost everywhere.
Pure mathematicians do it rigorously.
Topologists do it openly.
Topologists do it on rubber sheets.
Dynamicists do it chaotically.
Mathematicians do it forever if they can do one and can do one more.

Cantor did it diagonally.
Fermat tried to do it in the margin, but couldn't fit it in.
Galois did it the night before.
Mebius always does it on the same side.
Markov does it in chains.
Newton did it standing on the shoulders of giants.
Turing did it but couldn't decide if he'd finished.

A lecturer tells some students to learn the phone-book by heart.
The mathematicians are baffled: `By heart? You kidding?'
 The mathematicians are baffled: `By heart? You kidding?'
The physics-students ask: `Why?'
 The engineers sigh: `Do we have to?'
The chemistry-students ask: `Till next Monday?'
    The accounting-students (scribbling): `Till tomorrow?'
 The laws-students answer: `We already have.'
                                                                          The
medicine-students ask: `Should we start on the Yellow Pages?'

An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality.A
physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A
mathematiciandoesn't care. 

Biologists think they are biochemists,
Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,
Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,
Physicists think they are Gods,
And God thinks he is a Mathematician.

In the topological hell the beer is packed in Klein\'s bottles

Top ln(e^10) reasons why e is better than pi10) e is easier to spell than pi.
 9) pi ~= 3.14 while e ~=2.718281828459045.
 8) The character for e can be found on a keyboard, but pi sure can't.
 7) Everybody fights for their piece of the pie.
 6) ln(pi^1) is a really nasty number, but ln(e^1) = 1.
 5) e is used in calculus while pi is used in baby geometry.
 4) 'e' is the most commonly picked vowel in Wheel of Fortune.
 3) e stands for Euler's Number, pi doesn't stand for squat.
 2) You don't need to know Greek to be able to use e.
 1) You can't confuse e with a food product.
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